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For sober people who are ready to create the relationships they deserve!

Step into your best relationship yet

I'm accepting a few new dream clients who are ready to find the loves of their lives!

Make sure the sound is ON and watch below now!

Limited spots available

If you're ready to date smarter and better, to break your old, unhealthy dating patterns, and to create a lasting, loving relationship with someone who loves you for you, take two minutes to fill out the coaching application.

*I value your time and want to ensure we are a good fit to coach together. I also limit the number of clients I work with to ensure that I can give you maximum value and the best possible service!


What is a Sober Dating Coach?

As you probably saw in the awesome video above, a dating coach guides you out of the patterns and thinking that have kept you stuck in the same, toxic relationships over and over, and into a space where you can meet a partner who is ideal for you and create a healthy, lasting, committed relationship!

I created a special sober dating coaching program for two reasons:

Your Sobriety is Precious

Sobriety rocks!  You worked hard to get sober and stay sober, and now you're ready to create a healthy relationship with a great person!  But if you always relied on "liquid courage" to make a move, get naked, or even talk to the person you found attractive, it can feel scary even thinking about dating without drinking or using! 

Navigating Relationships Sober

Once you're on the dating scene or have found someone with potential, you're ready to build a solid, sober relationship.  

Hi, sober dater! 

How do you date in sobriety?
Whether you’re new in sobriety or have some sober time under your belt, learning to date without drinking or using drugs can feel daunting. You may be asking yourself all kinds of questions:
  • How long should I be sober before I start dating?
  • How will I meet someone? 
  • Should I date only other sober people? 
  • Will I be okay dating people who drink? 
  • When should I disclose my sobriety or recovery journey to someone who doesn’t drink? 
  • Will they be scared off by my sober status or the things I did while I was drinking or using?
  • How will I be able to kiss someone without being buzzed? 
  • What if I've never had sex sober?
If you've asked yourself any of these questions, good news: 
~You are not alone, and there is hope!
~You can date happily as a sober person.
~You can break out of your old, toxic dating patterns.​​
~You can create a loving, healthy relationship in sobriety.
During my recovery journey, I've worked with lots of sober people who wanted to find a partner and be in a healthy sober relationship, but they struggled!
Even though they were sober, they found themselves falling into the same unhealthy behaviors they'd used when they were drinking or using.  They were wondering:

~ How can I attract someone who is ready for a commitment?
~ How do I avoid beginning to date someone who is an alcoholic or addict

~ Why am I always attracted to the "wrong" person?
If you want to break free of your bad dating partners and find a healthy partner - build a strong, loving relationship - I've got you.

There is an art to sober dating, and if you want to change the results you're getting, you have to change your approach.

How do I know?  Well, I've changed my own dating life and coached lots of sober people on breaking their own patterns and building new, healthier dating and relationship patterns.

If it worked for me, and if it worked for them, it can work for you, too!

Are you ready to create your best relationship?

Are you ready to change your dating habits?

Are you ready to:


  • attracting commitment-phobes

  • feeling like you aren't enough

  • feeling insecure or like you're settling


  • attracting partners with similar goals and values

  • believing in yourself

  • feeling confident in your choices

Are you ready to change your dating habits?

Are you ready to:


  • attracting commitment-phobes

  • feeling like you aren't enough

  • feeling insecure or like you're settling


  • attracting partners with similar goals and values

  • believing in yourself

  • feeling confident in your choices

Recovering Attorney, Certified Life Coach, E-RYT 500,

Mindfulness & Meditation Teacher

Lily Shanks is a self-described "Recovering Attorney" who worked as a litigator for more than 15 years before finally fully embracing the title of Certified Life Coach.  


Lily specializes in increasing her clients' confidence and improving their mindset towards life.

Lily Shanks, Certified Life Coach, Recovering Attorney, E-RYT 500
White Brick Wall

I had 2 significant issues I was working on – one was a relationship issue with someone important to me, and the other involved my own internal self-doubt. I went as far as I could go on both issues by myself and knew it was time for me to connect with someone to further my progress.


Throughout our time together, Lily gently guided me towards asking myself the hard questions I had been avoiding. She suggested strategies for managing my internal thoughts, helping me to turn the negative into positive within my head and heart. She encouraged me every step of the way and never judged if I fell short of a goal between sessions. She met me where I was and helped me move in the direction I wanted to go.


As a result of working with Lily, I am now in a much better place in my head and in my heart. I have even had the opportunity to apply the strategies I learned from Lily to other situations that have arisen, which has helped me rest so much more comfortably with myself amidst new stressors.


I am so grateful to Lily for helping me experience the healing, forgiveness and kindness I needed for myself and for others in my life.

~Maryann M.

Working with Lily over the past 6 months has been an incredible honor. She has been a patient, encouraging, and devoted mentor to me during a very turbulent period in my life.


The wisdom and guidance I have received from Lily has enabled me to overcome difficult situations and to grow in a positive direction. I am extremely grateful for the experience I have had to work with Lily. I am a better person because of her.

~Client late 2020

Home: Welcome

Create your best relationships, sober.

Free Download five tips

Date more confidently in sobriety!

Enter your email below to download five of my favorite sober dating tips.

eBook: The Art of Dating Sober ($___)

eWorkBook: Supplement to The Art of Dating Sober with writing prompts, quizzes, check-in forms, and more! ($___)

Monthly coaching package

If you know you want 1:1 coaching, but you aren't ready for the full bespoke experience, this is for you!  Your monthly coaching package includes:




Month 1: $449

Four weekly meetings in one 30-day period.

Meeting 1: 60-minute Vision Meeting with Lily, discussing your dating and relationship goals, ideals, history, and roadblocks. 

Meetings 2-4: 30-minute targeted coaching sessions 

After Month 1, subsequent monthly coaching will continue as follows: 

Months 2 and beyond: $329

Three weekly meetings in one 30-day period.

Each meeting lasts 30 minutes, providing targeted relationship coaching based on your overall goals and 

Bespoke coaching packages

One-on-one relationship coaching crafted precisely to your needs, goals, and situation.  Bespoke is a fancy-pants word meaning custom-made.  

Want to learn more? Book your Complimentary Clarity Call to discuss whether Bespoke Coaching is right for you!

What would you do to feel good, inside, no matter what is going on outside?

We can help.

Our services might be for you if: 

  • you sprint through your day, only to collapse at the end, unsure of what you did

  • you aren't sure who you are or where you're going in life,

  • you drift through your days, unable to focus and anxious

  • you feel like your life is flying by,

  • you're unsure of your purpose in life,

  • you feel as though you're barely surviving instead of thriving, or

  • you want to live your best life, but you aren't sure how to do it.

Your new life can begin today.

It's possible.  

Are you willing to take the necessary steps?

Mindset Coach & Corporate Wellness Program Manager

Home: Contact

Not sure where to start?  I understand!  Schedule a Complimentary Clarity Call to clarify your dating and relationship dreams, goals, and next steps!


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