Don't Get Holi-Dazed! Make a Plan

With the holidays just around the corner, I’m hearing the usual cocktail of emotions from clients and friends alike: excitement and overwhelm, anticipation and anxiety, and lots of concern over “how will I ever get everything done?!”

Yes, ‘tis the season of jolliness and joy, giving and receiving gifts, and making memories with friends and family.  

Yet the holidays also pack a not-so-festive punch for many people.  Some may already be struggling, for example, with depression or anxiety, grieving the loss of a loved one, or financial uncertainty.  Others may feel dread arise just thinking of entertaining in-laws, cooking big meals, and tolerating drunken coworkers at the office party.

Finally, for my sober friends, navigating the alcohol-fueled party scene can seem like walking through a minefield, especially your first sober holiday season!

Whether you’re nodding along or just want to enter the holidays focused on your well-being, the best way to avoid getting “holi-dazed” is to make a plan.  NOW.

Below I’m sharing a few sweet strategies (sugar-free!) that have worked for me and my clients.  Enjoy!

1 - Set Your Holiday Goal(s)

🎯Write down your top 1-2 holiday season goals, making sure they are achievable and realistic.  (Less is more here, so select your top-priority goal.)

This could be as “simple” as:

• Staying sober

• Practicing eating in moderation at holiday gatherings

• Remaining present during family events

• Setting and staying within a gift-spending budget

Once you’ve determined your number one (and maybe a second) goal, post it somewhere you’ll see it regularly as a reminder.

2 - Assess Your Current “Yeses”

🤔Take stock of your current positive patterns and habits – the ones that keep you feeling sane, healthy, and nurtured.

They might look like: 

• Meditating for 15 minutes every morning

• Attending 3-4 recovery meetings each week

• Getting to bed and waking up at the same times each day

• Walking for 30 minutes daily

• Going to yoga twice a week

• Not eating after 9:00 p.m.

Note: While it’s possible to start new habits at any time, this post focuses on assessing and anchoring into what you’re already doing to support you through the holidays rather than adding what could feel like another “to do” to your holiday list.

3 - What’s on your “no-go” list? 

🧛Reflect on holidays past and ask yourself: 

• What drained you? These could be events, certain errands or tasks - no judgment.

• Who were energy vampires (i.e., people who left you feeling exhausted and deflated)?

• What else has caused you significant stress or anxiety in the past? 

• Also, is there anything or anyone new you anticipate being a source of stress this year?

Jot down your thoughts without judgment and proceed to the next step.

4 - Make a Plan for Success!

📋Here’s where we tie it all together.  Pull out your calendar and put your priorities in writing!

• Schedule yourself first.  Before you fill in anything else, commit to continuing what’s already working best for you (☝️see #2 above).  Write in your meditation, recovery meetings, and/or bedtimes just like you would a business meeting, then keep them. At the same time, be realistic about days where you might have to compromise or shift your schedule to accommodate a must-attend event. But plan ahead for how you will get back on track or make up the skipped self-care commitment.  (For example, if I can’t attend my usual Thursday night yoga class due to a charity event, I will make up for it on Friday.)

• Second, get picky as you RSVP.  Have you ever attended more than one holiday party on the same night? It’s not fun running from house to house to house, and guess what? You don’t have to ever do that again!  

• As you cull through your invitations, give yourself permission to say “no” to the energy vampires and previously draining events (☝️see #3 above).  If there are multiple events on the same day, pick just one. Also, if you aren’t excited about an event, say “no.” In addition to scheduling your wellness activities first, block off R&R (rest and relaxation) time.  (Remember: “No.” is a complete sentence.)

• Third, as you list out errands, shopping, cooking – all the “to dos” – categorize them into “must do,” “nice to do,” and “no.”  Pro tip: Not everything is a “must.”  As you review your must-do section, what can you delegate to someone else or start on now so you aren’t fighting the shopping crowds last-minute? 

• Finally, get extra-honest with yourself and plan for what you know (or suspect) will be the most tenuous situations this season.  My first sober holiday season felt daunting, especially the first office holiday party!  I’d over-imbibed on the open bar in previous years and wasn’t comfortable telling my colleagues I was in recovery.  So I sought my sponsor’s advice on how to navigate the event and planned ahead.  I took a friend with me, arrived late, stayed for a limited time, and then left early.  And I stayed sober!

5 - Don’t Expect Perfection From Yourself

🙃Finally, if you don’t follow your plan “perfectly,” do not berate yourself or give up. Instead, dust yourself off and get back on the proverbial horse. If you need to, yell “Do-over!” (quietly, if you’re in public). All is not lost – you can start your day over at any time.

If you or someone you know needs support, please know that you are NOT alone. If you need someone to talk to, an action plan, or resources this season, I am here to help! 💜 Learn more about my self-love coaching services.

🗓️ Click here to schedule a complimentary clarity call with me.

P.S. To help keep you on track, I will be doing my Holiday Wellness Challenge again this year. It’s a fun way to “gameify” your self-care through the holidays. Stay tuned for more details.

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