Reflections on my 7-year sobriety birthday

7 years ago today was my first day of sobriety. The day before, I took my last drink and finally reached out for help. It dawned on me (for the first time, believe it or not) that drinking might be a problem …

Since then, I’ve realized that yes, drinking was my problem. It was my problem AND it was my solution. And my solution was going to kill me. 

Special Seven!

As I reflect on my seven years in sobriety, I've been thinking about the significance of the number seven, including the tidbit I heard in yoga teacher training 14 years ago: that our bodies replace nearly every cell every seven years.

While that nugget is a massive oversimplification of the actual cellular regeneration process, back then I liked the idea of being a new me at least every seven years! At the time, I was not in sobriety and would have designed a "new me" to be a particular weight and dress size. Despite the fact that I was in great shape, I always found a "flaw" to focus on fixing ...

That mindset continued, unrelenting, for another seven years. 

Just before my alcohol rock bottom, I was hyper-focused on the external, thinking that if I could only change my career, income, boyfriend (or find one), and acquire all the stuff I wanted to own . . . then I would be a "new me.” And finally happy. 

I would come to realize … and then embrace the corresponding work … that the key to happiness is an inside job.

Missing Middle

We hear a lot about the early days of sobriety. As we should. Each day feels raw for most newcomers, but there’s also hope that we have solved “all” our problems by putting down the bottle. Those who make it through this time without relapsing call it being on the pink cloud, like the rose-colored glasses of early love or infatuation. 

Then comes the realization that the underlying problem was our faulty thinking, self-perceptions … and we have to deal with and heal our insides without our favorite external elixirs.

We also hear a lot from “old-timers,” those beautiful souls who have walked the recovery path for decades and show up to share their experience, strength and hope with others.

What we don’t hear as much about is what I will here call the “missing middle” – the 6-10 year sobriety span. I see fewer people in recovery rooms that are in this phase of their journey, and it makes me wonder: What happens? Do they get super-busy with life, relapse, something else entirely?

I recently reflected on where I am (my 7th birthday!), where I have been and where I’m going (one day at a time).

Current "me" thinks, speaks, and acts very differently from "old me," although some not-so-old behaviors like to crash the party a little too often!

The greatest progress I've made this past year of sobriety, I believe, has been extending myself more grace for the mistakes and errors I previously would have used for self-flagellation. If any cellular turnover has occurred, it might have been ocular, for as I continue sending loving kindness into the world, I also SEE those in the world with more love and kindness, including myself.

Change is the only constant, and along with everyone and everything else, you also constantly change. There's no need to wait for a new day, week, or birthday to make progress and take the next right step, whatever that may be on your journey …

 Sending you peace, love and light!

If you're looking for a sobriety coach or a self-love coach to help you improve your life from the inside out, reach out to schedule a complimentary clarity call!