Three DIY self-love coaching tips

lilyhshanks
Sep 18
4 min read

This week, I’m sharing three DIY self-love coaching tips for you to use in your life.

I frequently coach highly successful professionals on developing and practicing self-love. These C-suiters, VPs, and entrepreneurs have achieved great success, climbing society’s tangible standards. Even so, they recognize – and struggle with (as most of us do!) – caring for and loving themselves.

So, how can you step forward onto the path of self-love? Take my hand, and start with these tips below!

Tip 1: Repeat After Me: Self-Love is NOT Selfish

Self-love is not selfish. In fact, true self-love is the opposite of selfishness; the more compassion and love we give ourselves, the more deeply we can love and care for others.

One of my favorite authors and teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh, wrote:

“Your love for the other, your ability to love another person, depends on your ability to love yourself.” If you are not able to take care of yourself, if you are not able to accept yourself, how could you accept another person and how could you love him or her?

– True Love, by Thich Nhat Hanh, p. 44

I used to think that I was more loving and accepting of others than of myself. However, my love and acceptance of them was frequently conditioned on an expectation that they would love and accept me in return. That was unhealthy and ultimately harmful to me and them. I’m grateful to be on a more loving path now.

Today, try showing yourself the same acceptance, compassion, and love you give others. Watch your self-love increase your love for others. Talk about a win-win!

Tip 2: Embrace Self-Talk as the “Shortcut” to Self-Love

Ok, so there isn’t exactly a “shortcut” to this practice, but think about this – the person we spend the most time with in this world, and the person whose voice we hear most often (whether aloud or in our heads), is our own. Therefore, speaking to and about ourselves more kindly can quickly boost our self-love!

First, we need to become aware of our self-talk.

How do you speak TO yourself - on the inside?

When you make a mistake, what do you say to yourself? Is your voice critical? Kind?
When you take a step (big or small) toward a goal, do you acknowledge your progress? Or do you diminish your accomplishment?
When you take time to rest, do you truly relax? Or do you mentally beat yourself up and “should” on yourself about all the things your brain claims you “should be” doing instead?
Would you speak the way you do to yourself to the child or pet you adore most in this world?

How do you speak OF yourself - on the outside?

How do you describe yourself to others?
Does your talk about yourself include a lot of self-deprecation?
How do you respond to compliments? Are you able to accept them and say thank you? Or do you immediately diminish them?
Do you like how you speak about yourself? Would you speak that way about someone you love?

Pay attention this week – without judging or berating yourself – to how you speak to and about yourself.

Simply observe your default self-talk patterns, and if you catch yourself saying something unkind or harmful, you can then replace or follow up any negative self-talk with more positive and loving thoughts and words.

Tip 3: Look At and Ask Yourself: Where Do I Spend My Resources?

All of us have finite resources, including time, physical energy, mental focus, and money. We also have a choice in how we use or expend our resources.

Many high-achievers I coach over-extend themselves in their careers, families, hobbies, and communities, while rarely giving themselves meaningful time to relax and reset. Then they wonder why they feel so dissatisfied and empty; why they can’t relax and enjoy the lives they’ve worked so hard to build.

Spending time with and energy on ourselves – caring for our own basic needs, at a minimum – is self-care. And self-care is NOT selfish; it is vital and necessary for our entire well-being.

You know how the flight attendant always reminds you, if oxygen masks release in an emergency, to put on your own oxygen mask before attempting to help others with their masks?

Yeah. That’s self-care 101. If you can’t breathe; if you run yourself ragged and become ill; if you aren’t caring for your own basic needs like sleeping, eating well, or seeing medical doctors when needed – you cannot help others the way you would like.

Self-care is, at its core, nurturing ourselves like we would a loved one, which results in us having more energy, resources, and love to give others. (See Tip No. 1 😊)

Yet another win-win!

Self-Love Coaching In Dallas and Beyond

If you need help implementing any of these tips, developing a self-care practice, and/or holding yourself accountable, please don't hesitate to reach out. Whether you live in the Dallas area or anywhere across the U.S., I’d love to help you as a self-love coach to improve your life … from the inside out!

💜 Learn more about my self-love coaching services.

🗓️ Click here to schedule a complimentary clarity call with me.